Unified Field Theory 统一场论

原文：

Unified Field Theory

by Tim Joseph

In the beginning there was Aristotle,

And objects at rest tended to remain at rest,

And objects in motion tended to come to rest,

And soon everything was at rest,

And God saw that it was boring.

Then God created Newton,

And objects at rest tended to remain at rest,

But objects in motion tended to remain in motion,

And energy was conserved and momentum was conserved and matter was conserved,

And God saw that it was conservative.

Then God created Einstein,

And everything was relative,

And fast things became short,

and straight things became curved,

And the universe was filled with inertial frames,

And God saw that it was relatively general,

but some of it was especially relative.

Then God created Bohr,

And there was the Principle,

And the Principle was Quantum,

And all things were quantified,

But some things were still relative,

And God saw that it was confusing.

Then God was going to create Ferguson,

And Ferguson would have unified,

And he would have fielded a theory,

And all would have been one,

But it was the seventh day,

And God rested,

And objects at rest tend to remain at rest.

——《New York Times》 1978

統一場論 譯文

約瑟夫  陳之藩 譯

當其始也，亞里斯多德出來，

靜者恒靜，

動者終歸於靜，

不久，萬物俱靜，

上帝看了一下：這多無聊。

於是上帝創造了牛頓，

靜者恒靜，

而動者恒動，

能量不滅，動量不滅，物質不滅，

上帝看了一下：這多保守。

於是上帝創造了愛因斯坦，

一切都是相對的，

快者變短，

直者變彎，

宇宙中充滿了種種惰性架位，

上帝看了一下：這是普遍的相對，

可其中有些特別的相對。

於是上帝創造了波爾，

原理再次，

原理就是量子，

一切化為量子，

可是有些東西仍是相對的，

上帝看了一下：這太亂了。

於是上帝要創造已弗之蓀，

弗之蓀就要統一起來：

他會培出一種理論，

把所有一切歸於統一，

但已是第七天了，

上帝休息了，

靜者恒靜。